Tuesday, June 29, 2010

A Kentucky photo session

Kentucky fields of flowers
We rounded a curve on a recent sightseeing drive with husband Walter’s Aunt Sue in Bowling Green, KY. Bam! A vision of color, texture and shape exploded into sight. Black-eyed susans – or a close relative – carpeted fields and gentle slopes surrounding a modest brick home.

“Let’s stop for photos on the way home,” I called out from the back seat of Sue’s Toyota Sequoia. We drove on to our destination, and relished shopping at a Mennonite produce stand for wonderfully fresh veggies and at an Amish market that made it hard to leave without purchasing a sample of everything baked, candied or pickled.

On the way back, Sue pulled into a driveway across from the fields of rich yellow. The female contingent--Sue, my mother-in-law and Sue’s granddaughter--opted to stay in the air-conditioned vehicle. Sue’s 10-year-old grandson joined Walter and me as we piled out. We trooped across the road, down a slight incline and into the roadside weeds.

I shot the sea of flowers from several angles then knelt to shoot through a barbed-wire fence. Suddenly I snapped to attention, jerked to my feet and grabbed the right side of my jeans at thigh level. Something was crawling up my leg.

With remarkable courage and lightening reflexes, I squished hard with my right hand. Panic ensued, though, when I realized how limited my options were. If I let go and it—whatever “it” happened to be—was alive, it would continue its exploration of my anatomy and might even sting or bite. If it wasn’t alive, then the even more dire consequence could be critter guts on my leg. Eeyuuuuuu!

I staggered up the incline, paused at the grandson’s warning of an approaching car, then shuffled back across the road to Sue’s vehicle, still clutching my jeans. I opened the Sequoia’s back door, looked around for anybody in the vicinity then proceeded to stand there, fumbling left-handed with the jeans’ button and zipper.

Modesty fled. To the background of my female relatives’ hilarity and offers of help, I worked the jeans down. A grasshopper head, a couple of legs and bright yellow intestines greeted me. I grabbed a tissue and removed all the evidence except a disgusting stain. Getting the jeans back into place unleashed a major icky-bug dance spasm, a fitting end to a memorable Kentucky experience.


  1. This is a good story! Too bad it wasn't captured on video! LOL The picture is beautiful, by the way. I love those flowers! Beware of grasshoppers :)

  2. Wonderful post. Glad is all is well that ends well.