Sunday, March 10, 2013

Friko on complaints

Thanks to blogger Friko for her mention on her blog of my 21-day fast from complaining. She included in her recent post a comment she had left on my post then proceeded to share a sparkling take on verbal communication that may or may not qualify as complaining, from moaning to protesting. And that included my favorite, her “complaining-in-advance” strategy.

As usual she articulated her thoughts with precision and with details of behavior that we have all observed in ourselves and in others. I savored her subtle humor even as her words nudged my brain cells and started me pondering the questions her prose raised. Her readers also launched a lively discussion via comments.

In her comment on my post, she said, in part, “I love raving and ranting and complaining. It lets off steam and afterwards I can get back to admiring the sunny side of life.”

I like how she closed her post, “Personally, I am in favour of moaning a little less and doing a bit more of the protesting, and not just for lent.”

I hope she doesn’t give up her rants, though. They are entertaining, thought provoking and often include observations delivered through a prism of self-deprecating humor. If you have not discovered her blog it is Friko’s World here.

Oh, and I am still working on that “complaint-free” status. In the wake of Friko’s post and in the interest of full disclosure, though, I have to say I have three dear friends who provide an outlet for my venting (I am afraid venting is a euphemism for complaining.).

All three are younger than I am, have faced major hurdles of loss and pain and emerged better not bitter, strong women of faith. One is a relative; two are walking buddies.

Our interaction is usually one to one, and the effect that each of these ladies has on me amazes me. If I start a conversation with a grumble, it is usually about something shallow, one of life’s minor irritations. Sometimes they offer practical suggestions. Other times they just listen or join in for a mutual grumble.

The big stuff is a matter of faith and not as likely to be fodder for my complaining. I am usually confident it is being taken care of. They do, however, never discourage me from recounting experiences in the progression of a major challenge, and I regularly tap into the healing comfort of their compassionate listening.

But whether our conversations begin with major or minor topics, they often somehow morph into hilarity. Whole-body laughter is such a blessing, and these ladies definitely deliver blessings. 


  1. That's great. It is wonderful to have such close friends.

  2. This is a great topic. I also seem to rant too much. Usually, it is my husband who has to listen. He is patient. He listens. He doesn't say much, but he listens. Then, when I am done ranting, he gives me sound insight and advice.

    I've been so lax in my blogging lately. I've missed you. I hope to catch up on all my reading soon.

  3. While it is true that we do not want to be known for our complaining and down attitude, we do need good friends or a spouse to vent to so we can then not have to gripe to everyone else.

  4. we took the dog to the vet today, a 10 mile trip on busy roads. i was driving behind an idiot that was texting, she kept slowing down, running off the road, and there was no way to pass her. i was venting loudly while following her, going on about my pet peeve which is people using phones in cars while driving. i said to hubby, one of the bloggers i follow is fasting from complaining. he said what? that is how we keep from exploding... driving behind her the complaints did no good at all, she was stil there. but i did let my little teapot lose some steam. good luck with your fasting.

  5. I loved your statement about Mutual grumbles.
    I think when venting or complaining turns into whining and/or feeling of resentment and bitterness creep in then its really damaging.
    Just your becoming aware of that attitude is really neat. Its setting a watch over the mouth.
    I need to do that all the time.
    I am so glad you have some precious friends that are such an encouragement to you.
    They are real gems.

  6. I finally got a photo to upload this morning. Does that mean I can stop complaining about Word Press? Dianne

    PS I saw Friko's piece. I love her complaints too.

  7. I enjoyed Friko's post about complaining too.